


Biohazard Containment Breach

by kitlee625



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Dubious Consent, F/M, Pre-Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Sex Pollen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-13
Updated: 2014-07-13
Packaged: 2018-02-08 17:11:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1949427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitlee625/pseuds/kitlee625
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>May and Coulson discover that pranking a scientist can have unintended consequences.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Biohazard Containment Breach

**Author's Note:**

> Paphos is the city in Greece said to be where Aphrodite first landed when she was born out of sea foam.
> 
> Thanks to my beta reader Sarahastro for all her help.

“I don’t think this is a good idea,” Coulson whispers as he follows May down a darkened corridor in the Hub.

She rolls her eyes. “You said that already. But she turned my hair purple. I have to retaliate.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea? She has access to a lot of chemicals and experimental substances …”

May glares at him. “You don’t think I can get her back?”

“No, of course not. But she’s a scientist. She’s going to be a lot tougher than the guys at the Academy.”

“You don’t need fancy tricks to pull off a good prank.”

Weaver’s lab is at the end of a long hall. May swipes an access card to override the electronic lock on the door, and he knows better than to ask her how she got it. Inside, the lab benches are crowded with unfamiliar equipment. Coulson notices several cages of lab rats, racks of test tubes, and Erlenmeyer flasks with slowly simmering substances.

“Keep a lookout,” she says.

He obediently stands at the door and peers into the hallway. No one is coming their way. “What are you going to do?”

She does not answer, but she moves towards one of the chairs in the lab and starts removing screws. He knows from experience that she can remove enough screws that the chair will look fine but collapse as soon as someone sits in it.

As a security guard walks towards them, Coulson ducks behind the door. Thankfully the guard walks past the lab door without even peering inside. “Hurry up.”

“Just a minute.” She has turned her attention to the lab bench, which is covered with racks of test tubes. Seeing a bottle of ethanol, she uses it to rub off the handwritten labels. She holds up a tube filled with a violently pink powder. “What do you think this is?”

Coulson comes up next to her to get a closer look. The tube is labeled sample G3726. “I don’t know. They’re always finding unknown substances in the field and bringing them back for analysis. I read a report recently that mentioned something pink that a team found off the shore of Paphos. The agents said it had an odd effect on some of the locals, but their report didn’t get into any specifics.”

May tries to snatch it out of his hands so she can continue with her prank, and as their hands knock together the vial slips out of his fingers and crashes onto the lab bench.

They stare guiltily at each other. “Do we alert the biohazard team?” Coulson asks.

She looks worried but shakes her head. “No. It’s not in a biocontainment field, so it must be pretty safe.” May turns back to the bench and continues wiping off the labels of the test tubes.

He did not notice it before, but the lab is uncomfortably warm. “Come on. Before someone catches us.”

“In a minute. Go stand guard if you want something to do.”

He walks over to the door and shoves his hands in his pockets. He suddenly feels on edge, as if every nerve in his body has been turned up to eleven, and he cannot wait to get out of there before someone sees them. He has no idea why he is there in the first place except that May had asked him, and he has a hard time saying no to May. A slow smile curls his lips as he watches her. She would hate to know just how adorable she looks, as focused on the prank as she is on any mission. Adorable and very sexy. 

This is the first night that they have both had off in a while, and when he had proposed spending the evening together, he had not envisioned them using the time to prank Weaver. He hopes that she will be done soon before it gets too much later so they can spend at least a few hours together. Without meaning to, his mind brings up images of May straddling him, moaning and writhing in ecstasy, and he blinks rapidly. He tries to think of anything else, but instead his mind conjures the image of him pinning her against the wall and ripping her clothes off. He shifts uncomfortably as he feels his body react to the unbidden images.

He clears his throat and tries to sound casual. “Almost done?”

She looks up with an odd look in her eyes. Before he knows what is happening, she has pushed him up against the wall and is kissing him fiercely.

It feels good, so good, but he forces himself to pull away long enough to say, “Melinda. We should get out of here before we…”

“I can’t wait.” She quickly unbuckles his belt and slips her hands down his pants. She gives him a coy smile and cups his erection.

He groans. He has never felt so aroused in his life, and for the moment he does not care why. He runs his hands along the curves of her waist. She buries her face in his neck and starts kissing the sensitive skin there. “The guard will be back in a few minutes,” he murmurs.

“We can be fast.” She pulls off her pants and underwear and then starts on his.

He feels out of control. He only thing he can think about is how badly he wants her. As they fall onto the floor, he wonders if this might have to do with the test tube they broke, but decides that he does not care right now.

“Freeze! Hands in the air!”

Coulson pulls away. Beside him May is trying to size up their situation quickly. They are surrounded by agents wearing biohazard suits, and he realizes that they have been so caught up in each other that they completely missed the buzz of the biohazard alarm. Slowly he raises his hands in the air and May does the same. The lead agent rolls his eyes when he sees their state of undress.

“Not again.”

*****

Sitting in the medical pod May tries to focus on anything other than the fiery ache threatening to engulf her. She has tried everything to calm herself, but even tai chi does nothing. She is pacing around her medical pod when the door opens to reveal Weaver.

“Agent May.”

“Agent Weaver. Where is Agent Coulson?”

Weaver gives May a knowing look. “He’s under observation as well. Given your current conditions, we feel that it is for the best if you two avoid contact until the effects of the sex pollen fades.”

“Sex pollen?”

“Yes, that’s what we’re calling it. Quite a fascinating substance. We’re not sure how it does so, but it seems to enhance the subject’s natural libidinal urges.”

May tightens her hands into fists and resists the urge to punch the wall in frustration. “How long will it last?”

“It shouldn’t have any permanent effects. You should be back to normal in a few days. Perhaps longer, as you and your partner were in close proximity to the sample when you were exposed.” Weaver gives her a stern look. “Perhaps this will teach you how dangerous it is to mess with unknown substances in the lab.”

May stares at the ground. It is bad enough getting herself into this situation, but she hates that her desire to prank Weaver exposed Coulson too.

“Here.” Weaver hands her a thick S.H.I.E.L.D. manual. “You can use your time here to read this.”

May stares at the cover, which reads S.H.I.E.L.D. Biohazard Containment Protocols: Version 5. “Why?”

Weaver gives her a small smile. “If you are going to be spending time in a S.H.I.E.L.D. laboratory unsupervised, you need to be aware of the proper safety protocols.”


End file.
